How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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