i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
