and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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