I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
