Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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