OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I smell like Dick and happiness
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
