Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
