I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
