you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
