Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
