Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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