i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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