I just saw a hot homeless man
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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