will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
