Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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