Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
