So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
no you cant smoke seaweed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
