party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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