The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
