Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
