If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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