Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize