my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
