So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
