Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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