i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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