If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
