I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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