Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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