Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
