is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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