Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
