Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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