I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
