Someone shit on the floor
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize