i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
