i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
