super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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