I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
