But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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