I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
