i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
