it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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