absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
