The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think pants incapable of making pants work
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
