grandma shit on top of the toilet
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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