Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
