at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
