# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
