you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
