yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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