last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my shit smells like andre
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize