my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
