Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
