What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
