Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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