Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
