were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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