She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
