Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
