You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
