just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
