FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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