Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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