She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize