her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
