i think my mom watched the whole time
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
