Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
