Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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