try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hello my rib-scented angel!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
