Need sex. Gaining weight.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
