We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
